Day 64 - The Indian Cheat Code

I had another big day planned with the same idea that Emma and Jeremy would cycle a bit and then car to catch up. I got up early which was somewhat rough after the late night activities of my companions disturbed my early night plans, ate as much breakfast as I could and then quit procrastinating and got cycling.

The small spanner in the works was that I was committed to 186km of motorway - the other routes were very long. There was nothing to do about it so I set off to see how it was and if it was grim we'd replan - at least I'd probably get less hassling.

I cruised out of town, joined the motorway and got onto the aerobars. For context a motorway here is a little different. The trucks go at 30mph (50kph), cars barely faster and the majority of traffic is mopeds, with the occasional tuk tuk, cyclist, hand cart or pedestrian. Given the lorries don't always want to be swerving about it leads to the funny situation where the outside lane is the lorry lane, the inside lane for cars or fast lorries and the hard shoulder or third lane for two or three wheeled traffic.

Just as I was settling into my audiobook I notice a lorry going slowly up a hill and decide to see if I can slipstream like we did briefly in Kazakhstan. So I get on...and I stay there. And I stay there. And I stay there. I gaze at my Garmin in amazement - we're crusing along at 30mph (50kph). And I'm still with him. I stay with him up the hills, legs burning praying for the end and the short rest on the down. My mind reels at the possibilities, calculating cycling distances that have never before been possible! I was on a team mission to do as much distance as I could so that Jeremy's last cycling day is as manageable as possible for everyone so I was doubly excited about making mega distance. I told myself to chill - I'd only been on about 10 minutes and it was hard work, both physically and mentally, especially as I was pretty sure that his brake lights were not working! You have to be really on it riding close behind a vehicle at high speed while reacting very quickly to pothole and speed changes.

The other motorway users were loving it - I got a lot of thumbs up and grins, including from other lorry drivers. It was a fun atmosphere if such a thing exists on a motorway! I considered jumping multiple times to one of the smiling lorries but I had formed a certain attachment to my rusty friend.

About an hour later, still behind the lorry, I had a fun gesticulated conversation with another driver which went along the lines of "Nice one that's cool!" "Thanks! It's fun!" "Keep it up!" "Hey - can I switch to you?" "Yeh sure! Go for it". It was definitely more relaxing knowing the driver knew I was there, but he was keen to show off his skills and we sped up to 35mph and lane switched like mad as we swerved around slower traffic. Fast but hairy! The numbers on my Garmin were quite frankly astonishing!

And that's how the day progressed...for hours! I switched lorries a few times as they stopped for lunch, waiting for my favourite ones like a trusty dog as they came through toll booths. I asked myself many times if it was cheating - probably, I decided, but in the same way a lot of things in India have slowed us down, I decided that this was just using the "local resources" to my advantage! It was also really hard work! As I mentioned you have to be so on it mentally, and every second without both brakes covered is dangerous, so eating and drinking are hard - I had two chapatis and two bottles of water in 4 hours! Physically it's like interval training. Getting onto them involves timing a maximum effort sprint just right and swerving behind them as close as possible, then when there you alternate between chilling as you're sucked along, and maximum effort sprints to go up hills, or when passing another vehicle and fighting their bow wave, all while wearing a thick mask against the thick pollution. But BOY IS IT ADDICTIVELY FAST! I was using Google driving maps to navigate and actually making the time estimates?!

After a whole day of this, with nothing to look at except the back of a lorry, I was becoming something of a pro:

The Lorry-Riders Handbook

First, you need to understand the zones:

1. Have good max power - you'll need it when you start to get dropped, or go uphill.
2. Swerve into zones A and E to see what's coming - look for road surface, upcoming traffic and hills, then swerve back in a fluid motion.
3. When overtaking/being overtaken move to zone B or D - whichever is furthest from the other vehicle to minimise the bow wave.
4. Be ready to sprint or brake, constantly.
5. Be faithful, but keep one eye open for better rides.
6. Look around for your adoring crowds, and have that winning smile ready.
7. Use flat sections to drink/eat/check your Garmin, but make sure not to get dropped.
8. Be flexible with your route plan if your favourite lorry goes the wrong way and you don't realise until too late, but at some point draw the line and leave the motorway.
9. Balance longer routes with more distance against your tiring legs knowing if your dropped that extra 10km will really slow you down!
10. You can still get hassled, although much less, and repeat until they understand that you are absolutely not stopping for a selfie you can't usually cruise along at 55kph!
11. You'll get absolutely flithy.

Having written all of this I realise the cross section of readers to whom this could be useful life advice is small! ;)

By the time I'd come off the motorway I was exhausted and desperately thirsty so it was time for a sugar and water hit at one of the billions of small stalls around, buying my sweets one at a time - one rupee (1p) per pop. I stopped for a whole 30 minutes without being approached by a single person which was amazing. Refreshed I enjoyed going along at my own speed and actually seeing something for the first time all day!

There was a long wall full of beautiful graffiti of flowers and patterns, then tanks, then planes, then medics, then children. I eventually worked out that each part of the base had its representative pictures! Actually pretty cool and explains the random bazooka art in a nice style!

I found out my companions were still at the hotel from last night struggling to find a taxi or accommodation so I took over the hotel finding and arrived at a nice place which took foreigners. It's odd to finish a 200km+ ride with two hours of daylight wondering if you should go further, but given how far ahead of Emma and Jeremy I already was and the lack of upcoming hotels, it was time to stop. I was shown into the family-run hotel by the entire extended family and broke the system talking about my (imaginary) friends who'd be arriving and do they know a taxi?

There's no restaurant here so I had to play the stomach bug street food/restaurant lottery, but had a lot of fun walking around - it was a nice atmosphere, and I ended up in a great restaurant with all the things to try and limited cash left! Happily it worked out in the end, and I had enough to leave the waiter a handsome tip which was very well deserved and I think made his evening too!

So our chilled breakfast turned into high faff as we tried to organise a taxi, a route avoiding the motorway, hotel and getting cash to pay for the night before... But it's 1pm and we're finally on the road 😅

Taxi was a piece of cake to organise the day before, so I assumed today too, but after 5 companies said not available or just stopped replying or answering... So we start cycling and decide to deal with it on route.

Only 30 mins in along a nice canel road, we come across 5 Sarus Cranes (apparently the worlds tallest flying birds.... At 1.8m tall! 🤯) ....which was a bonus to see, because we're looking out for them at the reserve the other day but didn't manage!

After the first off-road section we decide to not wind up on a trail into the depths of nowhere land like we did the other day, and bailed to the motorway.

A few messages/calls later and we eventually have 2 options for a taxi for later.... € 240, the next day (no thank you!), and finally a €45 at 8pm.... success!

We've only got 50 km and 4h to the pickup point, so Jeremy decides it's a good opportunity to get a few flat tyres. I mean, all things considered, it was great timing, because time was really on our side at this point!

1st - failed old patch

2nd - non-repaired spare

3rd - what we thought was a pinch putting the tyre back on

4th - the thorn that was actually the cause of 3 and 4, and probably the 1st too 🤣

But now we've stopped 3 times, and given 3 small interested groups something to chat about. Quite grateful this happened on the side of a motorway not in a village where we would have had 30 spectators!

So we eventually make it to our meeting spot, which adds another tick to the "finished in the dark" list 🙈 (making it now 50/50....which is quite high for a "strictly no cycling in the dark in India" decision made some time ago) .

We sit down...attempt to order from the big 4 page menu, when the guy says "no...no...no..." to the first few things we ask for. We eventually ask what is available, he points out the only 2 things available, so we go for them... Veg noodles, and veg noodles with paneer 🤣

Soon after our taxi arrives, we pile bikes on the roof, ignoring the driver repeating "ok, fits, go, fits, go" and we continue to reposition the bikes and protect them where required (hopefully!)... Jeremy and I exchange looks about the 2 of 4 clamps missing that hold the rack to the roof, but this doesn't look like this guy's first rodeo, and it sure looks like it's been like this since the day it was installed.

Sure enough, 5 mins down the road, first gravel section, big bang and the driver comes to a stop...the bikes are solid strapped to the rack, but the whole rack has slipped out of the "rails" and blocking Jeremy's door from opening. Old mate looks annoyed by the new scratch the non fixed bracket had left on the roof...but based on the rusted scratch marks on the roof around the other non fixed bracket, this perhaps isn't the first time this has happened. Anyway, bikes are untied from the rack itself, and now tied directly to the roof, sandwiching the rack...Bombproof now!

Food spend today: 16.80